She is in my trunk
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
