Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
