The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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