you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
