i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
