Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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