She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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