New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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