tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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