just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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