My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
