Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
