Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
