So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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