Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
