I'm really into asian looking animals
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
