Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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