the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
handjob tips. give me some.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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