He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
