did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
