She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
