sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
