i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
