The maid of honor just puked.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
