U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
my poor anus
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
