He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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