And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
