My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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