I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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