Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
