I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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