Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
