dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
