Kiss
Puke
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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