It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
