There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
