I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
