I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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