On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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