There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
