...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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