i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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