turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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