He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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