Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
