**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
