I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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