chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
