I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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