Why are handjobs necessary in class?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
