Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
zippers are such a cool invention
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
