did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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