I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
