my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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