I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm getting married
To pizza
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
